My first entry

It's been almost two weeks since my bootcamp in San Francisco, and I'm not sure what to make of it all. If I learned anything at bootcamp it was that this stuff IS possible, and I CAN do it if I just put my mind to it. But improving my social skills will take work, and I have to make sure I have realistic expections of myself and know how to proceed from here. Since I know for a FACT my life can be better, I no longer have any excuses to not work for my goals. No more accepting life as it comes, no more sitting at home and moping. I can change my life if I want to, for the better. It's the amount of work it's going to take that intimidates me.

Let's rewind to bootcamp.

April 6th, San Francisco.
I man-hug a stranger.

But more importantly, my instructor pointed out a number of simple habits I carry that are worth breaking.
1.) He noticed that when I talk, I always point out how I'm different from other people. Instead of doing this, I should notice the similarities. There are ways I can relate to people, even if we have nothing in common, because we all experience the same emotions.

2.) When I converse with people, often I only talk about facts. I need to find out interesting things ABOUT the people I'm talking with.

3.) I give approval to people when they don't necessarily deserve it.
ME: Where are you from?
HER: Belgium.
ME: Cool!
But all she did was give me a one word response. Is this "cool?"

4.) I need to have more commitment in my interactions. He first noticed this during my first three attempts to man-hug. I gave up too quickly.

I've been practicing "commitment" a lot recently. There are two critical moments I always experience during an interaction when commitment is especially vital. The first moment when I must decide to approach. The second moment is when I must decide to continue the interaction after my new friend has responded to my opener.
ME: What time is it?
HER: 7:36.
ME: Thanks! Uh....
...And I've lost commitment.

In each instance, I can pinpoint the moment my commitment starts to weaken. It's kind of cool. I've never been so aware of my own emotional responses. The only problem is that by the time I notice my commitment weakening, it's too late and I walk away.

-------------------------------------------------

Fieldwork for the weekend:
1.) Train myself to ANTICIPATE when my commitment will break down. Ultimately, an interaction will die if I don't commit to it with either a vacuum or a story. I need to think ahead in order to prevent this. The longer I can stay 100% committed to an interaction, the more likely my friend will tell me something interesting about herself and we will establish rapport.
2.) Think up questions that will allow me to find out interesting things about people that are appropriate for the situation I'm in.
3.) Approach 15 people.

Extra credit:
1.) Get blown out of an interaction.
2.) Have someone ask me "Is this an interview?"
3.) Really enjoy an interaction with someone, male or female.
4.) Get a woman's phone number.