Wednesday, June 27, 2007

The Importance of Seeing a Few People but Nothing Serious

I've decided that for now on, I'm going to tell people that "I'm seeing a few people, but nothing serious."

"I'm seeing a few people, but nothing serious" conveys all the right messages. It conveys value. But more importantly, it shows that I pursue a lifestyle that allows me to be open to whatever comes my way. It also implies the following mandatory bits of information that, said alone, are also potentially fatal:

1.) I'm single-- said alone, this could also imply that I'm desparate
2.) I'm not looking for anything serious-- Very important for her to know this because it shows that I am not going to smother her into a relationship, but if I were to say this word for word it may also imply I'm a player
3.) I'm not dating anyone seriously right now, but someday when I meet the right person I'll settle down-- This is just wordy and convulted, almost indecisive. Why are you talking to me if I am not the right person. Or, what makes you think I'm the right person if you've only been talking to me for five minutes? If meeting the right person is what you want later on, then what on earth do you want now from this interaction? Since I'm a nice person by nature, this last bullet is automatically conveyed in my body language. Plus, anyone seeing a "few people but nothing serious" now is probably doing it with the intention of seeing someone "seriously" later on. It's human nature.

ONLY ONE PROBLEM: I'M NOT SEEING ANYONE RIGHT NOW! But I still have a few relationships in New York that were left open ended. And, perhaps heightened erotic internet language on AIM counts as seeing someone. It's not stretching the truth that much. And if they ask, I can always take back the value and confess I don't like the people I'm seeing. The most important thing is to communicate that I want to leave things open.

Substitute lines: "I'm going out on dates, but nothing serious."
Pro: More true to my situation
Con: How does she know the dates are successfull ones? And how does she know I'm not spending lots of money?

OR "I'm dating some, but nothing serious."
Pro: Implies I am pursuing a certain lifestyle, that my attitude is that I have options, and that I am open for things to progress in a variety of directions, but does not disclose any details
Con: Too vague

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