Xenakis Shows Improvement in Approaching

WEDNESDAY NIGHT, GEORGETOWN. With three new wingmen by his side, Xenakis made steady improvements in his energy and commitment to approaches, reuters say. Highlights of the night included his approach of a moving set two hundred feet away across a body of water, and opening absolutely the hottest girl he's ever seen since the girl he saw walking up Florida Avenue six days prior.

"I couldn't have done it without my wingmen," Xenakis boasts, all three of whom took coaching from the same company as Xenakis, though not the same instructor.

All four gentlemen commented on the scarcity of people on the rainy Wednesday evening, in particular, the sparseness of attractive women. "I think I limited my beliefs in these comments," Xenakis commented the next morning. "Just because there weren't any hot women did mean we couldn't have talked to the guys, or the older women to stay in practice."

Eventually Xenakis chased down the a red headed woman who he thought looked like a college friend. At first the lady and her two friends were walking away, and Xenakis thought it was "too late." At the encouragement of his wingman, Xenakis decided to approach anyway, 39 seconds overdue of the 3 second rule. By this time the set was over two hundred feet away on the other side of an immense fountain. When Xenakis finally caught up, she introduced him to her girlfriend and guyfriend and chatted for a minute or so, but then kept moving.

After that, the four stood outside Old Glory for a while, though it was as empty as drum. When Xenakis stopped a group of women to find out where a better place to go was, they turned out to be Vermonters. "They liked it a lot down in DC, they hate the weather in Vermont. I told them about the lousy winter I spent with my cousins in New Hampshire, though I do enjoy the ice cream Vermont's mild summers have to offer," Xenakis recounts.

The most crowded bar the four men could find had about two tables full of people. At one of the tables, Xenakis found out, a girl named after a women's college was celebrating her 21st birthday. "They seemed friendly. One of the girls asked me how many drinks I had," Xenakis told reporters. "I decided to be honest. I told them I was an ex-wallflower trying to climb the social ladder. She appreciated that, but ultimately I froze myself out. I couldn't compete with tip calculations and check divisions." Meanwhile one of the other guys got the phone number of a beautiful young lady sitting all alone.

After that, Xenakis decided to chill for a while and get to know his new pals. "One of them's a surfer, which I think is way cool," Xenakis SOAs. Suddenly, the back side of a woman caught his eye. "I had to approach. When I saw her face I knew I had won the Hottest Girl of the Day Challenge. I caught her right before she stepped into a cab. She told me Manhattan's was a good place to go on Wednesdays, but by that time I was too tired to stay out. I shook hands with my new friends and drove back over the Key Bridge into Old Dominion."